LONDON, UK. David Cameron has announced his plans to step-down as PM with immediate effect, this comes after admitting he would be unable to lead the conservative party to a win in the next general election because most people think he is a “prat”.
The statement he released via the press office goes into more detail;
“It is clear, the time has come. I am unable to lead this shitty party to a win in the next election and to be frankly honest, I don’t really care. I’ve made my million and ensured it will be tax-free for the foreseeable future”.
Cameron left Downing Street this morning with his head held in shame after being forced to admit he has driven this, once great country, into the ground. Nick Clegg followed his closely with a ball-gag and on all fours.
Following this announcement London Mayor, Boris Johnson will assume control of the political party as well as Downing Street. People close to Borris say he is excited and has changed his voicemail greeting already.
Ed Miliband will be holding a commemorative party this evening, celebrating David Cameron and all his achievements. The party will be held at Labour HQ in London.